Sunshine
by coffeegirl1321
Summary: Tamlin, destroyed by his mistakes, falls into a deep depression and is determined to change. He wishes to prove he has changed to the Courts. One day Feyre's father asks permission to meet his daughters, Feyre, Nesta, and Elain, in the Spring Court, and brings along a surprise. He brings Rosaleen a half fae half mortal who they quickly realize is Tamlin's mate.


**Rosaleen**

I looked anxiously at the man's back who I followed. He was kind, happy, and helpful when he found me. He said he was merchant with three lovely daughters. Freye, was the youngest daughters name. That name has been with me since I could remember. We were on our way to meet her in what he called the Spring Court. Where his daughter, first lived it was the easiest to get to. We approached a vast garden with a mansion in the distance. The sun was fresh and warm on my skin. I did know that was something I haven't felt in a long time, at least that's what my body told me. The smell of flowers was strong so many of them, the scents I knew but the names were lost to me. Rounding some bends for what seemed like an hour we made way to a fountain, shimmering with bright blue water completely the song of spring time. The man was elated when he saw his girls, I assumed. The stood together with matching golden brown hair accompanied by a male.

One wore a pale pink dress her curls undone with pink and white flowers placed throughout. Her joy was so overwhelming I almost fell while dismounting my horse. A male fae stood next to her, his fire hair twisted over his shoulder, a single flower tucked behind his ear. His eyes met mine, one russet, one metal and gold surveyed me for a moment before returning to the girl of flowers. Elain I decided from what the father had described.

Close to Elain, stood an elegant and poised fae, her eyes were more grey than blue and felt like steel when they held me. She tilted her head, not attempting to hide her judgement. Her golden-brown hair was tied up in knots atop her head. Nesta, I assumed.

I let my eyes turn to the final sister. Underneath the arm of a violet eyed fae she stood. Her blue-grey eyes bright but concerned. She looked at me trying not to give any feelings away, but she was anxious it seemed, not for me but her father. Her lover clearly, placed a hand on her arm and squeezed, a gesture of reassurance. I looked at her face, I knew her. Too many nights had her face haunted my dreams.

 **Freye**

Her gold eyes grew wide as she looked at me. I was right, I should have never worn this dress, much to formal, but Rhysand insisted. There was something about being in the Spring Court again made me too anxious. Tamlin knew to keep to the back, it may have been his court, but this is my father.

I looked at her again. Her chocolate brown curls fell to her waist, blowing slightly in the breeze. Her skin was pale yet held a golden hue. She didn't move her eyes from me.

"Freye," she whispered. I wasn't sure of what to say. "You are the only thing I remember." I looked at Rhysand, he shrugged. I let my talons feel for her wall. It danced of gold shimmering material I'd never seen. "You must ask if you want entry," she stated, bringing me back. I wasn't sure if it was own shock I felt, or Rhysand's. Suddenly, the shimmering wall was gone, and replaced with black and fluttering images… of me. When I first came here to the Spring Court, battling under the Mountain, lying in bed asleep, and an image of my in my puffed wedding dress as I faced Rhys. I didn't understand. Her eyes, were still on me when I was done, she quickly snapped the wall shut.

"I am just as confused as you if not more, but your face, is the reason I am here."

"And who are you?" Rhys asked her.

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, the ear wasn't that of a mortal but slightly pointed, but not as extreme as a faes.

"What are you?" I asked.

"That's why I'm here. I don't know."

 **Rosaleen**

I knew this part was coming, but I knew I wasn't ready for it. They were firing questions over and over. Questions most of which I couldn't answer. Both Freye and Rhysand, poked through my mind again and again, only to find images of Freye. They didn't understand. As they questioned back and forth trying to find answer from me or anyone, my eyes fell to the tall blonde man who stood with his back against door way of this massive home. His golden skin glimmered slightly in the light and his green eyes were tight, not moving from where they focused in the distance. He was uncomfortable, angry and heartbroken. This feeling felt the same way as when I'd been seeing Freye's face for many months.

"Do you have a name?" asked Nesta, her face still cold.

"I named her Rosaleen. When I found her she had no name, she was lost, starving confused," their father explained. Nesta didn't buy it, she sent waves of distrust.

"It's the truth. I can show you." I walked slowly toward her my hands palm up. "May I?" She looked unsure and skeptical but placed her hands on mine. I focused on the first day I woke in the middle of the woods not knowing who I was or what I was. I moved to the first time I saw Freye's face, hooded by a thick coat and a bow on her back, the memory of meeting their father and him naming me. The stories he told of his strong willed daughter, the hunter and the cursebreaker, and the delicate and kind one. She ripped her hands from mine. Disgust written on her face. Rhysand stared at me his violet eyes curious.

"Show me" he grinned and jutted his hands out toward me and so I did. "Marvelous," his eyes twinkled as if stars were trapped within. Using their silent connection, felt Rhysand shift the new information from himself to Freye. She nodded to him realizing something, but failed to tell the rest of the group. Her hate radiated as she said his name.

"Tamlin," Freye scowled. The man who looked of spring turned lazily to her and proceed to walk down the steps to her.

"Yes, High Lady," his deep voice somber, angry.

"Show him." Rhysand pushed gently.

 **Tamlin**

I looked Rosaleen, who stood in front of Freye. Her dark curls framing her face. I didn't know her but there was a sense familiarity. Her pale hands were suspended in the air between us. I gazed into her golden eyes to see if that brought any more clarity. Gently, I placed my hands in hers. I relived all the memories I regretted and have mulled over; for harming Freye, for not being what she needed, for being blind.

"How do you know all of this?" I growled. Her small frame shook slightly at my roar. She didn't answer, but placed a small ivory hand on my arm and I felt my claws retreat to back into my skin. I didn't understand, it is hard enough for me to control the beast, how can she. "How do you know this?" my voice softened. She titled her head her curls falling to the side.

"Because of you… I think," she paused, "May I?" she asked me taking my hand again. Her touch was warm and soothing. Rosaleen's golden eyes fluttered shut and her face twitched as though if she were searching for something, anything. I felt an audience in my head. I let out a low growl, a warning. "Easy," she whispered her voice like a bell. Her eyes flung open. "You had them planted." I felt the confusion on my face. "The white blooms. They are like the popular red ones. Oh, I hate this!" She held my hand tighter and began to pull. She ran and my body had no choice but to follow suit and the others chased after us.

My mother's part of the garden is where we ended, we turned slightly to the north and there was where I planted Bianca roses as they called them in the mortal world. "Winter blooms," I muttered. Rosaleen, looked up at me smiling. No one had smiled at me for a long time.

"You remember. So my thought wasn't lost. It wasn't just my own." I nodded, it made sense. I thought I went mad. I remember that day. I woke early in the morning before the sun. I remember asking Alis to find the buds for them and as the morning light broke, I kneeled in the earth and planted them. I looked, oddly to Rhysand.

"I sent Freye he stars," was all he said. My eyes snapped back to her and I didn't hurt so much. My constant ache seemed to dull in her presence. Her smile was big and shinning, like staring into the sun. Turning to her totally, I took her round face in my hands, worried she would recoil from my touch, she remained still. It felt as if my hands were made to hold her. Rosaleen's golden eyes bore into mine, warm and tender, like honey. There was a snap in my body the urge to keep that smile on her face, to keep those eyes on me, to make sure to never make the mistake I had made to Freye.

"Mate," the word fell from my mouth.

 **Rosaleen**

The word rung in my body and mind warm, like the feel of his hands on my face. I did not know its meaning but it didn't matter. The shock of the others rolled onto me, it rolled into me like waves, aggressive and intense, from Freye. I glanced quickly at her. Rhysand's face matched her feelings.

"Maybe he won't be so grumpy now…" Elain whispered to the fire head. He gently nudged her elbow in response.

"Lucien," Tamlin whispered. He heard me now. _The popular red flowers?_ I asked him in my mind.

"Roses."

The group fell into chaos and it was too intense for me to try and settle. Tamlin's hands were now at his sides, but stood close. He was not confused, but curious. Tamlin didn't understand why it had to happen this way. Why he had to be such a monster to Freye for me to be here. He looked at me, he could feel me poking in his mind. I shot him an apologetic glance. It was too easy to slip into his mind. There was no border now. I couldn't find where my thoughts started and where his ended.

Freye was enraged, she didn't understand how someone so horrible could have a mate and why she was a victim to him. I only know bits of what he had done, but I knew what no one else knew, his guilt. It flooded me every day, almost so much I couldn't get out of bed. Freye's father, told me most nights he'd find me crying and screaming in my sleep.

Rhysand's darkness poked at my shield, I looked at Tamlin. He seemed to know what I was asking. I nodded to Rhysand and unleashed what I had hidden. It crashed into him so forcefully he quaked. Freye was at his side instantly. I felt a glimmer of sympathy rise from him. "Show her," he said grimly. I looked at Tamlin again, a silent question, it was his personal pain and memories I would be sharing. Gently, he allowed himself to touch my arm, and squeezed it. I titled my head to him before making my way to Freye. This time I grabbed her forearms to brace her for what she would feel.

Her eyes held me, her hate still potent, making me nauseous. Slowly, I flicked through every nightmare, every day she was gone, everyday she was back, how it shattered him when he knew Rhysand was truly hers and she forever his, how he had betrayed his people for someone who didn't love him, how his guilt consumed him for her letting her waste away, for betraying his friends, his guilt for being wrong. Her eyes grew teary as I held them. Playing more and more of them through her mind. Tears sprang from her eyes. She had not forgiven him, but she understood now. I released her. Rhys wrapped his arms around her quietly soothing the sob that broke from her. I heard a snarl roar from Nesta, but with a look from Freye she eased slightly.

 **Freye**

Rhys, Tamlin, Rosaleen, and Lucien gathered in the dining room of the Spring Court mansion. Tamlin ushered Rosaleen to his chair letting her sit and stood behind her. He had truly wanted to change and he had, I could see the glimpses of it from even that tiny action. Lucien quietly shut the door behind him. I could feel her calling to me, not in thought but in my body. It ached similarly to when I used the powers of the high lords. Rhys noticed and gave me a concerned glance. It was clear she was half fae and half mortal, but how. Everyone had the same question but dared not ask, until Tamlin spoke.

"If she is truly part fae part human, we have no idea what her lifespan will be, her abilities, and what she takes after more. We need to find out." He looked down at her, a silent communication occurred between them as if all they needed were their eyes to talk. "It's her wish."

"She can speak for herself!" I spat. I felt a crash of calm lull over me. I looked to Rosaleen. "Did you just?" She nodded a smile curving on her full lips.

"There is no need for anger. Anger will solve nothing." Her words bit but I could feel that they came from a good place. I looked to Rhysand. His eyes were on Rosaleen, squinting. He was having a hard time gaining entry to her thoughts.

"Do you know what you're doing?" he said pointing to his head.

"Yes, my gifts, were what kept me alive before Freye's father found me. Without them…" she trailed off looking at her hands. Tamlin's hand grasped the back of the chair harder turning his knuckles white. I knew that anger, the blinding rage of your mate's life being threatened.

"Do you have more?" Rhys continued.

"I don't know. I only know of two. There's the one I used to calm Freye and sense emotions. The other the mind shield. I don't have complete control of that one. I hear everything he thinks now." She looked at Tamlin, reaching up a hand to touch his, an instinct. Rhys leaned on the table his face filled with fascination. I too was intrigued.

"What is it like for you?" he asked her.

"Sometimes I can't differentiate from his mind to my own. Before I came here it was mostly memories that flowed back and forth usually the strongest ones. Now it's everything."

"Tamlin?" Rhys asked. I tensed up moving closer to my mate.

"When she speaks through my mind its clear, almost shouting at times. Before I got glimpses, like the roses and a few other things but not much," he stated no hesitation. He truly wanted to know more even if it meant working with Rhys.

"Like?"

"Books mostly, flipping through the pages her recognizing words, but can't put the meaning to them. I would feel the frustration. The roses and Freye... Her name would echo back to me. I thought it was my own thoughts but now I know it wasn't." Tamlin looked to me worried about my response.

"Did you feel it, right away? When you looked in her eyes?" Lucien spoke up from where he looked out the window.

"The tether, the sudden tug?"

"Yes, the sort of tether you could say."

"I did yes. Is it different for other?" Rhys looked at me a smiling creeping up.

"I suppose, I don't think there is a way to measure," I said.

"There is," Rosaleen peeped. We all turned to her in amazement. "Well sort of… It's all at an equal level of intensity, but the character of each…" she trailed, unsure of the word.

"Bond," I filled in.

"Yes bond! Lucien and Elain's feels light, smells sweet and floral, based on kindness. Yours's and Rhysand's, is heavy and purple, smells like jasmine and night time, based on choice and freedom. For us" she glanced at Tamlin," It smells like honey and is heavy, almost smoldering, but I can't fully tell, I'm guessing based on warmth and honesty." In that moment, there was a twinkle in the green of Tamlin's eyes, almost as if his ice was melting. I wasn't certain if I was angry or relieved.

 **Rosaleen**

Tamlin held his large tanned hand out for mine. I placed mine in his and he excused us from the others. Guiding me, he took me to a room lined with shelves of books and a large painting. He turned to me a small tortured smile playing on his lips. I could sense he hadn't smiled in a very long time. Not since Freye had returned. I could feel the heat of his hand, it made me both anxious and calm. I looked up at him unsure of what to do. His eyes registered my confusion.

"What is a mate?" I asked my voice shaking. He took his hand from mine and ran it through his hair, his green eyes on the floor. He started with a deep sigh and sat on the desk.

"A mate, how I view it and what I've seen, is a person who is an extension of your soul. They are your reason for being, a love for an eternity," he paused, "and when that person is taken from this world… as my father told me… it feels as if the world is gone and you are nothing," Tamlin explained his glossed over, thinking of another time.

"What does it mean for us?" I asked him stepping toward him, pulling at my fingers. His gaze was overwhelming. By my hands he pulled me closer.

"That is up to you and you will take your time in making your choice. I will not chain you as I had done to another. You can refuse to be mine…" he paused, "I will have you here as a guest and as friend, I will have you as my lover, or I will have you as my equal, my mate. But as long as you are safe and you are happy it is your choice. I will not force myself on you and if you wish to leave… you are free to do so. I will no longer be a jailor." He lowered his head, his golden locks falling into his face. This time I reached for his face leaving my fear behind. I lifted his chin moving closer so our faces were close enough to feel his breath on my face.

"I do not know what I want of us yet, but I do know I wish to remain with you." Tamlin's body released the tension it held from this morning. Without warning he brought his face to mine leaning his forehead against mine.

 _I will not leave you_ , I reassured him and he shuttered, still not used to the silent communication partly, but also in relief.

"Rosa," he whispered before delicately kissing my forehead, as if to avoid breaking me, bringing color to my cheeks.

 **Tamlin**

A smile creeped to her face and blush rising in her cheeks. If it weren't for a knock of the door frame I might have attempted to kiss her rosy cheeks. I looked to see Rhysand of all people, his dark frame leaning on the door way. I restrained a brash remark, I was determined to change. He looked between Rosa and I, a look of pride encroaching on his face like he was the reason for our connection. I suppose it was. A giggled rippled through Rosa, she looked to me her gold eyes gleaming. I raised an eyebrow.

"He thinks you look like puppy dog when you look at me," her eyes twinkling. I let out a chuckle.

"You should see Lucien… and you, Rhysand you are whipped," I bantered. He snorted in return.

"Would they be our mates if we weren't?" I nodded in agreement. He jutted and arm out to Rosa. "I want to test her abilities." My muscles turned to stone. I wasn't ready to risk my mate just to find her ability just yet.

"Are you comfortable with that?" I turned to her. She nodded.

I sat on the steps of the mansion watching as she influenced everyone's emotions from rage to calm, to anxious, to sadness so quickly so strongly it seemed as if those were their own feelings. I felt pride bubble in me, this was my mate, she could do this. I noticed Freye tilting her head arms crossed, mulling something over. I had to ask.

"What Freye?" I dared speak her name. Her eyes glared at me.

"I have a theory. If Rosa can shield her mind from both Rhys and I so easily maybe she could shield herself from physical abilities." I leaped pushing her behind me. I wanted to growl no, but it was not my choice. Her small hand squeezed my arm firmly. I remained in front of her.

"Tam… we have to try," her voice rang loud in the silence. I looked over my shoulder, her face creased with worry but her determination was radiant. I removed myself from before her but not moving to far from her side.

"Tell her what you're using before you do it." I demanded. My one condition. Freye nodded sharply. Anxiety flooded the air and I could feel it from Rosa through the tether. Rosa looked to me quickly, a silent goodbye if this were to go horribly wrong. I didn't protest. I reminded myself, this is her life, this is her choice. If she said a word in protest I would risk my life for her's.

"Fire!" Freye shouted blasted a ball of flames at Rosa. I resisted the urge to jump in front of her again. Suddenly, a faint gold shimmer surrounded Rosa's body. She grimaced slightly but looked mostly unharmed. When Freye seized her fire. Rosa collapsed, her energy spent as I raced to her, collecting her in my arms. Her only injury was a single burn on her forearm.

"No more," she whispered eye golden eyes shutting. A low snarl escaped my body, I was not angry at Freye, but at myself for not telling Freye to stop. I lifted Rosa from the ground her head leaning on my shoulder. Freye stepped forward I let out another growl.

"Watch it!" Rhysand snapped.

"I can help, I can heal the wound," Freye answered. "I won't help if you keep up this attitude though." My lip twitched with anger.

"No." I paused. "We don't know her how much she takes after the fae. We should wait for it to heal on its own. She should decide if she wants aid. She is not my bonded mate, I shouldn't make choices for her." Freye backed off, seeing that I was changing. My change was no longer for her sake. I was startled by Rosa's cold hand on my cheek. I looked her.

 _Sleep, I need sleep, please,_ she pleaded.

 _Of course, as you wish,_ I responded.

"Excuse me. You are welcome here. There are rooms in the manor you are all welcome to if you wish," I nodded to them and entered the mansion. Rosa's face was paler than before, the sunshine missing in her face. I placed her in my bed, she deserved the best I could give her. As I laid her in the bed the arms that were slung around my neck did not budge.

Barely audible she muttered, "Stay." Into the bed I climbed letting my mind merge with hers. What I saw made hope stir within me.

We lay in the grass staring at the sky as she threw flowers at me and I named each one. Rosa's chocolate curls were tangled with my hair. Quickly, she propped herself on her elbows, her smile shinning down on me, her light warmer than the sun. Rosa leaned in close to place her full lips against mine. For a moment, I forgot I was in a dream until a gentle tap on the shoulder woke me.

I looked up at Lucien who smirked and nodded his head to the door. Carefully, I untangled myself from Rosa, who's color returned to her face. I followed him out. He informed me that Freye, Rhysand and their family would be staying in the cabin and Elain was busying herself picking flowers for Rosa. I looked to the window the sky purple with hint of pink remaining.

"I didn't realize I was there so long. Did you have the dinner served?" I asked. He nodded.

"I never thought you'd find a mate, not after Freye," Lucien admitted. I was not angered by his statement.

"Neither did I," I mused staring at the door that hid Rosa from view.

 **Rosa**

Turning, I patted the bed for something, someone. I found nothing but cold sheets. I noticed a set of night clothes laid on the edge of the bed. I changed looking about the room. Flowers and bushes were painted all over the walls, entwining together like lovers. The window near the bed was large and open with a bench seat. The sun was set and replaced by the purple night and tiny lights scattering the sky. Stars, I remembered. I looked at the creamy white door remembering where I was and why I was here. When the sleepiness left. I remembered his golden face, shimmering yellow hair, and eye so green I thought I was in the woods. Tamlin.

Pushing the door open I heard giggle and laughter from down the hallway past the set of stairs. I looked above me marveling at the stars through the glass ceilings. I wonder how marvelous it looks in the day time. Pictures scattered the walls. I found one of a young man, his yellow hair resting just above his shoulders, his green eyes warm and the smile he wore meet them. Tamlin. Barefoot I padded down the stairs, all light was void from the hallway except one doorway. Peeking in the door way I saw him, his stoic face turned to the window fidgeting with his hands, with a golden glass in front of him. I didn't move scared to disturb him. He was clearly lost in thought and it was difficult for me not peak. Tamlin's thoughts were scrambled, questions flying around from every direction. This explained the visible tension in his neck.

Quietly, I entered the room, with a soft hello. Tamlin's head turned my way and his face brightened slightly. I was clear to me that Freye still haunted him. There was a pang in the middle of my chest at that thought, but I was his mate, and with time, maybe that pain could be eased and perhaps I could be the reason he smiles.

"Rosa," he said his face welcoming, and my body felt lighter. "Are you hungry?" I nodded. He gestured to the chairs for me to sit. I sat in the closet one and it seemed to please him. With a wave of his hand there was food for them masses, anything I could ever dream. Tamlin released a small chuckle while telling me the pasta in the white sauce was something called alfredo.

"Would you like some?" he asked. I nodded and he served the pasta to me on a plate that matched his class. As I ate he watched answering my questions about the ingredients, how it is made, where is comes from. I worried I asked to many questions, but with each question he became more relaxed, Freye and his past leaving his mind. I had his full attention.

"Did you cook this?" I questioned.

"No, but no one knows I can," he smirked slightly revealing his secret.

"What do you like to cook most?" I probed.

"Cookies actually. Anything sweet really. I have a weakness for them." He waved a finger and a mug of steaming hot liquid appeared.

 _Tea_ , he responded mentally, he seemed to be getting better at our mental communication, and poured a bit of liquid that was the color of my eyes into it. _Honey_ , he answered.

"I want to practice." He declared aloud, lifting the mug to his lips.

"Practice what?" asked biting into an apple, I had my first one just a few days ago on my way here.

"The mind communication. Do you have a name for it?" he asked taking a sip of the tea.

"Mind whisper, that's what I named it after I described it to Freye earlier, she helped a bit." He let the words mull over in his head.

"I want to practice. I would like to hear you better, so in case if your ever too weak to speak we can still communicate," Tamlin trailed off stirring his tea, a distraction. He meant if today happened again and he knew it would.

"We can practice. We might need some guidance from Rhysand and Freye if your open to." I watched his hands anxious for his reply. I was worried his anger would rise and me might growl at their names.

"Yes. I think that wise," he answered immediately, that brought a new worry to my mind. What if he wanted me to be like Freye, who seemed fierce and firey and full of triumph. I don't think I could ever be that for him. I glanced at his face. "Rosa..." I listened. "Don't think you need to become her to gain my affection." He had read my mind clear as day as if I had shouted my fear. He reached his hand across the table for mine.

"Why do you care for me? You nothing about me? I barely know myself." It wasn't fair to him to be rule by this bond. I knew nothing of myself so how would he even begin to know me. Why would even try. My doubts swirled in my head like shadows wishing to drag me away.  
"Because of the thoughts you sent, but I didn't know… they saved me. You saved my life." The spring air was silent and Tamlin's face was stone, chiseled and serious. It was threatening, but I had no fear toward him, I don't think I could ever fear him.

I reached my hands for his mug, I knew this wasn't the time to discuss the topic further. Tamlin gently nudged the mug toward me. First, I sniffed smelling the sweet scent of honey, he called it, then sipped. It was hot in my mouth and I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. He laughed loudly, startling me so much I could barely keep from spilling the contents of the cup. This laugh reached his eyes unlike the other laughs he'd given me. Holding his stomach, he attempted to control his laughter, but I never wanted it to end. He was handsome, but in that moment, he was more beautiful than anything I had seen. I did a double take, noticing a bit of red rising in his cheeks and I felt the shock on my face. He had just peered into my thoughts a little too easily. I attempted to shut my shield.

Through chuckles, he said "please don't be like that. I take my chances to know what you're thinking. You said my mind was wide open to yours. It's only fair." I nodded in agreement it was true. Everything was laid out for me, while he was left guessing.

"I try not to peek but it's difficult. I wonder if Rhysand could teach you to build your shield so you can keep your thoughts to yourself when you wish."

"I would be open. Maybe that way your mind won't be so cluttered."

"It does make it difficult for me to concentrate." I gestured to the burn on my arm. Tamlin's golden face turned grim, an apology radiating from his eyes. The burn had gotten better, the color dulled a bit and the pain wasn't as strong. For moment, I swore I saw claws protrude from his hands, but in a blink, they were gone. Without pushing into his mind I felt his anger change to worry.

 **Tamlin**

Late in the night I walked her to my room, to let her rest. Tomorrow would be a challenging day. I wasn't sure if she wanted my presence and if she thought this afternoon was a mistake. Wafting through the door I could smell honey, potent and sweet, she must have swiped it from the kitchen. With a low laugh I left upper wing retreating to the room that I couldn't bring myself to change. I opened the door to Freye's old studio, paint and canvas' scattered everywhere. Talon slashes through the pieces with my face. This had been Freye's jail. I wasn't sure how to liberate it or if I could. I picked up a painting of the Lucien and Elain, it colors vibrant and free. Freye's art was so lovely I didn't want to destroy it and yet I doubted she'd want it back. But this room I knew would hold me back from freeing myself of my guilt and loving Rosa. I wanted this room to be something magical for her. She made it clear she wanted to stay. I was determined to make this her home.

"Trash it." I heard from behind me. I twisted to see Rhysand, arms crossed. "I'm not saying this for my good, or for my mate, but for yours. We were friends once." He sauntered over to the wall covered paintings, snickering at some and admiring some.

"No, this was Freye's place, if anyone is to trash it. It should be her." I replied shoving my hands into my pockets. He looked at me in amazement.

"You really have changed… I didn't know you were capable." Both a joke and a serious thought. I knew what the other Courts said about me.

"Guilt and pain make the choice to change hard to refuse."

"I see why the Cauldron paired you two." I crossed my arms waiting for him to continue. "You were so blind to Freye and her emotions and you were so closed off to your own, the Cauldron paired you with someone you cannot hide from, to someone who will know you better than yourself. Did she really save you?" he grinned. I snarled the beast rippling out, but I leashed it.

"Stay out of my head!"

"Are you going to answer? I can always find the answer the fun way." Rhysand smirked his talons scratching at my mind.

I hesitated unsure if I wanted to share this with him, but either I tell of my own will or he'll rip it from me. "Months ago I couldn't bare the guilt from everything I had done. It was too heavy and I was lost, so I found the ash arrow Freye had killed my man with and held it at my heart. I was ready to leave this world. There was no longer a place for me it. I had planned Lucien to take on the court if he wished. If not the other courts would decide. There truly was nothing left for me. " I blinked shocking myself at my own honesty. Rhysand's face was white, his arrogance wiped from his face.

"What stopped you?".

"A face. I had closed my eyes bracing myself for the impact, and I saw her face. A reflection from the ocean. Rosa hair was getting tangled in the wind her eyes pierced the waters. By Cauldron, it was like she knew." My hands tightened into fists in my pocket.

"She felt it most likely. Whether you know your mate or not, that is surely something you would feel," he said becoming rigid. He was talking about under the Mountain, when I had begged the other High Lords to save Freye, when that bitch had snapped her neck. "Does she know what she wants?" he asked shoving the topic aside.

"No, just that she wants to be here." He grinned, his smiling covering his whole face, it was an arrogant and knowing smile.

"Okay." He said sarcastically before vanishing.

 **Freye**

The next morning, we were back in the garden, Rosa was no longer in her mortal clothes, but in grey pants and green flowing shirt, a spring court fashion. It seemed to suit her. Today, there was no audience for training, but Tamlin. Something seemed to change between them, a new respect and agreement. For some reason that made me feel better. I had tossed and turned all night worrying for Rosa's safety and wanting to bust her out of that hell. But it wasn't her hell, it was my own. She showed us where the wound had been, what was left of it was a long red line of raised skin and nothing more. Both Rosa and Tamlin explained that they wanted our help with mental shield and what Rosa calls Mind Whisper. For hours Rhys sat across from Tamlin explaining the mental shield and trying to get him to manifest his own while I threw the powers of the High Lords at Rosa.

It was late in the afternoon, we were covered in sweat from the sun and exhaustion when Rosa froze completely. I moved closer to her placing a hand on her shoulder. "I can't hear him!" she exclaimed. We turned our gaze to Tamlin who sat on the ground, eyes shut, sweat dripping down his face. I let may smoke and night poke at the wall of his mind and I was stopped by a wall of greenery and flowers. I pushed harder. It remained, bending slightly and bounced back, he snarled.

"I'm not that good yet," he growled through his teeth and he wall flew open, his body instantly relaxing. I noticed a gleaming golden light, but it wasn't coming from the sun. It was coming from Rosaleen. Rhys, Tamlin and I turned our heads to her to see a golden light radiating from her. She wore a smile so large I'm sure it hurt. Quickly the wounds I had inflicted were disappearing one by one. _Should I try something?_ I sent Rhys. I felt a flicker of amusement, a yes. Carefully, I grabbed Rosa arms summoning the fire of the Autumn court. I let it burn hotter and hotter, she remained not phased her, face still full of pride looking at Tamlin. Even he couldn't hide his shock.

"Rosaleen…" I whispered. Her head shot in my direction and winced loudly ripping her arm from me. Her golden glow was gone. Rhys in amazement clapped his hands so loudly I thought the earth might shake. Bastard, I never got that much praise. _No lies Freye_ , he purred. _You've glowed many times_. A blush flooded my face, I glared at him.

"I'm so proud of you!" Rosa beamed running to Tamlin, not worrying about her injury which now had almost healed. Cauldron's sake.

"You glowed!" Tamlin mussed, still in disbelief. She looked up at him again, ignoring what he said and the golden glimmer returned hovering over her pale sink. He took her hand raises it to eye level. She looked at it, at first not understanding why she was looking at her hand. Then it clicked her eyes grew wide, she twisted her hand looking at the shimmer examining it in awe. Quickly it faded. "I wasn't kidding," Tamlin said, more of his stone cracking.

"Look at her arms. The only wound she has is the one that happened after she was distracted and this glow faded." I mentioned. He examined her arm and that wound was almost healed as well. Tamlin extended her arms turning them one by careful annotate how much damage I'd done to her.

"How?" Rosaleen whispered turning her head to look at me. Her eyes were glowing the golden light radiating from them and felt something churning in my core. Nesta came running from the mansion flanked by Elain.

"Do you feel that?" Nesta said her complexation was white, as she held her stomach.

"The Cauldron," Nesta gasped, Rosaleen's eyes glowing brighter confusion written on her face.

Together we gathered in the study. It was now to clear she made prior to the second war, but was it by the King or could the Cauldron have just spit her out before the war as if it save itself, or maybe one last creation before its destruction. We all knew the only way to find out more would require getting the Cauldron or if anything at least the books. I looked to Rhys who was just as worried. We would have to talk with the others.

Quickly and quietly, Rhysand explained as much as he could to Tamlin who not and reached for his arm. I was prepared to attack, but was surprised in by his reply.

"Think if this were Freye, do what you would do for her. But old friend, be safe. Find what answers you can, but it risks anyone's life stop. This is request. I endangered your lives once for selfish reasons," he glanced quickly at me, "You are doing me a kindness and I don't wish to risk your lives again. Keep in touch."

"We will back in time for the spring solstice," Rhys nodded gripping Tamlin's forearm back, a promise.

 **Tamlin**

We exchanged quick goodbyes before the high fae of the Night Court winnowed away and the four of us remained. Rhysand had given me ways to practice and Lucien would help Rosa to train. The glow from Rosa's eyes had settled. She leaned against me too weak to stand on her own. Lucien had a smug smile on his face his hand being held my Elain. She looked at Rosa worried and wanting to help. I could already see their friendship forming. Rosa looked to Elain.

"Would you help me pick some flowers?" she asked untucking herself from under my arm. Elain grinned taking hold of Rosa's arm, seeing how weak she was.

"Rosa?" I asked worried.

"I will pick flowers with Elain. I cannot sleep everyday away," she noted. With a tight not they were off. Rosa was right. She could not sleep her life away. We didn't know how much of her life she had left. I sat on the stairs of the mansion, while Lucien and I covered some court matters. Everything had peaceful since after the war.

"Elain had an idea. A ball, to welcome Rosaleen to the court. Give her a chance to have some fun. Maybe you could play the fiddle for her," Lucien laughed.

I dipped my head, that wasn't a bad idea at all. I began making mental notes flowers would be everywhere, I rushed to find Alis to start planning. Elain, that girl was brilliant.

 **Rosaleen**

The weeks passed and Tamlin greeted me at his bedroom door. It wasn't until I found him sleeping in the study that I realized I had kicked him out of his own bed. Every day was the same breakfast and training before retiring to the study where he and Lucien would help me relearn the world. In the evenings, Elain and I would pick flowers and she would gush over Lucien or her sisters. I asked her of their beginning and if they had been bonded yet. Her smile brightened when she told me not yet but hopefully soon.

Most days Tamlin and I would spend hours him telling tales of his childhood and what he loved. He pushed me to try new things without being to forceful. He apologized daily for me having to wear Freye's old clothes. To me it was nothing. I'd never wore such beautiful things. Every day I learned a new flower cataloging them and every night Tamlin would come with a bouquet of them for my room, well his, and every night I insisted he take his room back. Every night he refused. I never grew tired of our days together no matter how routine they were.

Tamlin, was always teaching me things, hoping I'd remember something. Nothing ever came, but I was excited to learn. I took in everything I could. We didn't know how much time I had, so I was determined to fill my time the best I could. Whatever I asked of Tamlin, I received. He never said no to me. I had been with him to many of his meeting, some entertaining and firey, those times I saw what a temper he had, but he never went too far. Each day he showed me something new about himself. He was warming to me slowly. He had shown me bits of his past and his wrong doings that he had once hid from me and immediately asked if I wished to leave. Tamlin was terrified of who he used to be so much he feared he was the same man, but every time he showed me a memory from his past, it was a different man. A man I never knew. He made it clear if I choose to be his mate I would need to know every part him, the good and the horrible. I accepted him for his past knowing how hard he was trying to be a different person. I admired him so much for that.

We had received news that the Night Court would be joining us in a week's time. Rhysand had told us to be ready to be tested and telling us he comes with some news. I was excited to see them again. I had so many questions for Freye and Rhysand.

Today there was a knocking on the door before Tamlin entered with a bouquet of the flowers I just learned, hydrangeas, violets and Bianca roses, my favorite. I felt my smile reach from ear to ear and I could sense the glow just under my skin. I gushed my thanks and put them in the vase next to the bed. I knew he liked when I placed the flowers next to the bed. Every night they were the last thing I see and the first thing I see in the morning. I was still in my night clothes which made my cheeks flush, embarrassed because of the exposure of my skin. Most mornings we would sit on his bed and he would play with my curls, silent and happy as he practice listening to my mind, but this morning he tilted his head toward the wardrobe.

 _Take a look_ , a whisper of a smile on his lips. I ran to it flinging the doors open knowing what was waiting for me. Gowns, dress, and clothes of all sorts filled it of every color. _I'll leave you to choose_ , he thought a smile escaping him.

"Stay," I blushed, I wanted him here. I wanted him to be a part of this moment, of every moment. "I want you to pick."

He sauntered into the room letting his eyes linger over me before everting them to the wardrobe. His hands grazed over a bright blue dress, the color of the sky that sparkled in the light. "This one," he whispered his fingers playing with the fabric. Quickly I retreated to the bathroom holding the dress up to my frame in the mirror. I couldn't help but think to what Elain asked me a week ago. She asked if he had kissed me yet. When I told both her and Lucien no, they were dumb founded, why I didn't know. Since my first two days here, his touches were careful and calculated, a pat on the head, a squeeze to my hand or arm, a quick hug goodnight. Nothing more.

I assessed myself in the mirror. I had gathered up some of my curls so they didn't hang in my face with a ribbon the same color of the dress. The fabric hung loose around my legs, bits of them poking out between the solid and sheer shimmering fabric. The sheer fabric wrapped around my arms light and flowing. I wondered what he would think, I secretly hoped he loved it. I hoped he'd be so taken that he'd let his hands linger longer, just maybe he would kiss me. I peeked out the bathroom door, Tamlin leaning against the wall his eyes closed. He must have been opening and lowering his shield, he practiced every day, religiously.

"Tamlin," I sang. He quickly looked to me, he swirled his finger in the air for me to turn. I spun in circles giggling watching the fabric gleam, until his strong arms stopped me. With his face close to mine I saw the gold flecked with in the deep green of his eyes, his arm wrapped around my waist made my heart flutter. I was shocked by the sudden closeness, had he decided he was ready? At this moment, I knew I could never go back to those simple touches. I felt the heat in my cheeks. I wanted more of his touch.

"You are stunning." He cooed tucking one of my stray curls behind my ear, my heart stopped for just a moment. "The surprises don't stop here," he grinned and I wished that smile would never fade. It had taken him a long time to truly smile, I would savor everyone he granted me. His arms released me making his way to the door. Without thinking I grabbed his hand walking beside him. He looked down at our hands, his was first filled with shock but quickly a soft smile played on his lips. During all these weeks, we never strayed too far from one another. He may have been closed off at times but he always let pieces of him shine through. This moment gave me hope that one day he'd heal and one day I could be his. One day he could be mine.

We walked out to the vast garden and he studied me. _Hold on_ , he thought taking me into his arms. Somehow, we ended up near a lake surrounded by a field of purple flowers strung throughout the grass and willows trees all around. I looked to him and held out my hand, the sun catching the fabric of the dress. Tamlin slid his tan hand into mine, following my lead, my skin tingled from his touch. He explained his many memories of his parents and his brothers taking him here for training and to unwind. One by one I picked flowers, giving them to him to hold. His eyes were growing softer as the names rolled off my tongue. When my legs grew tiresome we sat in the high grass close to the lake its water rippling with fish, the sun bright and full.

I gathered his hair in my hands, it felt like silk in my hands. I began twisting it into the knots, braids, Elain had taught me. He didn't protest, but let out a silent grumbling, purr I learned. Slowly, I placed the flowers we'd collected into the braid. Tamlin leaned back laying his head in my lap, unraveling my creation, yet I didn't mind it's destruction. I'd never seen his face so relaxed, no sign of worry or anger. I continued to run my fingers through his hair, his purr so loud I could feel my body shake with it. I wanted to be in this moment forever. His eyes fluttered open, the green vibrant. He searched my face for something, but was too scared to ask.

"Tamlin?" I asked tangling my fingers in the golden locks of hair.

"Yes?" he purred.

"Do you care for me?" I asked worried my feelings had been one sided, worried he kept a bit of distance, because he still loved Freye. He lifted himself from my lap and held my face between his hand, his thumbs caressing my cheeks.

"I have always cared for you." He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead, making me smile but secretly frustrating me. I craved something more, but I would not rush him.

The sun was now lower in the sky and he whisked us away back to the court. There we were greeted by Freye and Rhysand as well as some new faces, another surprise for me. Morrigan, a gorgeous fae who I was sure took every fae's breath away, her golden curls swaying in the wind. Closely next to her was Azirel who was brooding but blue eyes shone brightly. A male named Cassian gave me a wide smile and a wink, which earned him an elbow to the side from Nesta. Everyone chuckled.

"We are your second surprise, but we bring another," smiled Freye and Elain who held a large box. I looked at Tamlin who wore a smug smile. He had clearly planned something, but I couldn't figure out what. Though Freye and I didn't know each other well we seemed to have equal respect for each other, a silent understanding. I hoped one day we would be close despite her past with Tamlin, it would take a long time and she would never forgive him. I was sure she would warm to me one day.

Back to Tamlin's room we went. Elain was having a hard time with the giant box Freye had given her and was thankful to set it down, I was excited to find out what it held. I noticed Freye's careful eyes on me as Elain started to braid my hair. I knew many questions were flooding her mind, but I dared not peak. She straightened in her chair crossing her arms. "Is he kind to you?" she surveyed as if to look for injuries or to see if I was wasting as she once had. I looked to her my eyes widen slightly. She truly thought he hadn't changed. The Tamlin I know, was different from the one she knew. I hoped one day she could see that he was no longer a monster.

"Not at all! My goodness you should see them. He so gentle, he barely touches her. You must have made him want to change. Also, he hasn't kissed her, I thought it would have happened by now. It's impressive since they are mates after all," Elain gushed. Freye let out a laugh out of disbelief. She looked to me once again to confirm her sisters words.

"He has been nothing but kind, he's always careful and calculated. I wish he would let loose," I responded letting my eyes fall as Elain tugged my hair.

"I'm glad he is kind to you. I'm glad he's changing for you," honesty ringing clear from her. Freye stood starting to busy herself with her hair.

There was a long pause before I asked, "When did you know you were falling for Rhysand?" Her hands dropped to her side and she leaned on the dresser, smile growing on her face, dopy and dreamy. I hoped one I would wear a smile like that.

"Starfall," she mused, "In the Night Court the stars come shooting through the sky returning every year. It's truly magical. I had come back from the Spring Court broken and battered. Rhysand made me free, I was beginning to be me again," her eyes looked down her long lashes casting shadows on her cheeks.

"I wish for a love as strong as yours and Rhysand's" I whispered unsure of where Tamlin and I stood. I knew he cared for me, but what did he want of me. Freye took a deep breath bracing herself for what she was going to say. It was something she clearly did not want to admit.

"Tamlin loves deeply, so deeply it blinds him. If he loves you he will give you anything and do anything for you," she admitted looking at me through her eye lashes. Her words gave me hope.

 **T amlin**

Freye came down the stairs first arm in arm with Rhysand, High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court. They were a picture of the nighttime and its splendor. Next, came Elain and Lucien, Elain was covered in little tiny flowers, a vision in pink. Lucien wore something similar the pink emphasizing his red hair, that boy would wear anything for Elain. Nesta came down with Cassin looking like a river in the night. All the other courts waited in the garden, I had perfectly planned a ball just for Rosa with Elain's help of course. Finally, she descended the stairs wrapped in gold. Her gold gown fit her perfectly flowing out at her knees, the sparkling sheer sleeves fell off her shoulders to encase her arms. Her chocolate lock that I loved dearly, were knotted on her head with a few curls hanging to frame her face, in that moment I had lost breath, so captivated by her. A true image of the sun. My mate, my own personal sunshine. How I hoped one day she would except the bond and I hope that night would be tonight.

I looked to Elain and nodded my thanks. Rosa gleamed and shimmered as she walked down the stairs. She still didn't know what was happening. I held my arm out to her for her to take. Lacing her arm with mine, Rosa glanced up at me and said, "Its beautiful," gesturing to her gown, "But what are you hiding?" raising a dark brow. I did not answer but lead her to the garden that was covered in thousands of tiny lights and Winter Blooms everywhere you looked. I watched her face as she took it all in.

 _Is this for me?_ She asked as her surprise consumed me.

"Welcome to the Spring Court Rosa," I grinned at her, tears welling in her eyes. Her joy was so strong I didn't need to find my way into her mind to feel it. I held my hand out for hers and music filling the warm air. The dance floor was empty, as the High Lord of this court and she the guest of honor we were to start the celebration. She had told me many times she didn't know how to dance, but she always tapped her feet and bobbed her head to Elain's songs. I was sure she was made to dance. Rosa looked at me, excitement glimmering in her eyes.

"Dance with me Rosa." To the floor I brought her taking her into my arms. We had never been this close before this morning, but it was time. She followed the music seamlessly grace in every step. I twirled her around the floor. Her smile was so bright and a light glimmer appeared over her skin. I couldn't stop a smile from spreading across my face. I hadn't felt so happy in what seemed like a lifetime. Rosa danced away from me, long steps, I couldn't tear my eyes from her. Her every move made my heart dance inside my chest. She was my mate and I hoped to tell the world tonight. In my arms again I dipped her low as the music ended, her face so close to mine. In that moment I knew, I wanted to stand by her side, my mate, my equal, for as much time as we had.

Dancing and dinner commenced. Rosa never sat still, a finger tapping the table, her feet moving as we ate. She ached to be on the dance floor. Everyone was as captivated as I was, by her kindness, beauty and thoughts. She even was able to bring a smile to the High Lord of the Autumn Court's face. She asked them question curious about the new world she lived in. Rosa brought Freye and even Nesta to the dance floor bringing smiles to their faces. When another slow song rang in the air, I swept her into my arms taking her aside to our garden. Her steps were in sync with mine as we strolled away from the roar of the party. I could feel her eyes on me her gaze heavy. I turned to her, wrapping my arms around her waist, savoring every touch of her skin. Her honey eyes bore into mine trapping me in this moment. Leaning my forehead against hers I held her eyes.

"Rosa, I've been unclear about my intentions, but I can no longer fight what I am feeling. I have been careful not to rush you in opening yourself to me, I have been careful to not force my touch on you. But, from the first day you arrived in my court I knew you were my mate. As the days moved by you became my friends, and as the weeks went by you healed my heart. I do not want to image a day without you here," I whispered my voice shaking scared to reveal myself completely.

 _Rosa, you have stolen more than my home, more than my attention, you have stolen my heart,_ I sent to her felling my body shake, with her arms she steadied me and her eyes burned golden orbs of sunshine.

"Say it aloud, I need to know its real…" her breath hitched her cheeks flushed. I took her round face into my hands caressing her cheeks with my thumbs.

"Rosa… I love you," I admitted at last. Her lower lip quivered her eyes teary. Without a word, her small hands reached for my face pulling my lips down to hers. They were warm, sweet and heavy like honey. I let myself get lost in her lips and her touch. Every touch felt like warm sunshine, her fingers tracing my jaws, her hands gripping my shoulders, her hands tangling in my hair. I wished to never lose this feeling. Gently tore my lips from hers desperate to know what she thought. Rosa's breath was heavy and unsteady, I kept my eyes closed worried what I would see. She placed gentle kisses on either of my cheeks before burying her face in my neck. I purred at her breath against my neck.

"I love you too." She paused probing me to open my eyes. I opened them to see her golden glow shinning brighter than the setting sun. Again, she took my face in her hands. "I know it hasn't been long, but we don't know how much time we have. You have shown me your pain and your past, your willingness to change and how you've changed. I love you for all of it. Tamlin, I wish to be your mate from now on," she breathed out heavy. Her words destroyed the pain that was left in my heart. Lifting her from the ground I kissed her greedily my hands reaching in her hair. Her tongue brushed my lips and growl rippled through me. It took all of my will power to remove my lips from her. I looked down at my mate, my sunshine, you beamed up at me her smile so great it hurt my heart.

"As you wish," I now beamed down at her.

 **Freye**

Before we could even see them, a golden light poured from the garden filling the sky. Tamlin and Rosa walked back hand in hand love clear in their eyes. Everyone had turned to see where the brilliant light was shining from. Rosa radiated her golden light brighter than ever, so bright her gown shimmered even as she stood still, so bright she put the sun to shame. Rosa's cheeks were flushed and she hung on Tamlin's arm whose smile matched hers, the smile meeting his eyes. He had never smiled that way at me, but I felt joy settle over me. It was mine as well as Rosa's. She leaned up to kiss Tamlin. Elain from behind me squealed, truly ecstatic. Rhysand squeezed me with the arm draped around my waist. I was free. Tamlin was free. He looked to the large crowd who gathered gapping and exchanging hushed remarks.

"Welcome and thank you to everyone for joining us. I want to formally introduce you, to my personal sun, my love…" he paused his green eyes looking down at Rosa who shone brighter which I had no idea was possible, "My mate, Rosaleen." I looked to Rhysand who stared at me his eyes twinkling.

"Ready for another Spring Court wedding?" he joked. I punched his gut, he coughly loudly at the blow.

"This one, I am happy to attend." Rosa beamed grabbing Tamlin's chin who did not resist and placed a gentle kiss on his cheeks, struggling to reach on her tippy toes. The crowd chuckled and clapped. Cassian hooted and screamed for them to get a room, making Rosa cheeks flare red and hiding herself under Tamlin's arm. When the crowd dispersed, Elain ran straight to Rosa giddy ready to know all the details. Rosa gave them quickly then looked up at him. I could see the lines in Tamlin's face, he was focusing on the messages she was sending him. He nodded quickly kissing the top of her head, before she made her way to Rhysand and I.

"You two are awfully lovey," Rhysand mentioned.

"And I heard you two spent days in a cabin having your ways with one another and then you proceed to fight your brother, for a comment he would say on a normal day," she countered, her face growing smug as she crossed her arms, her glow hadn't faded. I felt my cheeks and neck grow red. Rhysand let out a loud chuckle.

"I like you," he said wagging a finger at her, "you're good for him."

"You look gorgeous," I butted in.

"Only thanks to you," she replied.

"Actually, it was Rhysand's idea," I said throwing my thumb back at him. "He's got a thing for fashion. I helped a little."

She smiled and excused herself running back to Tamlin, it was not an order from him, it was of her own free will, I could feel that in my bones. I poked my talons into Tamlin's mind who was too distracted to notice. I saw nothing but plans for the future, but he would only go forth with her approval. He had big plans for her in his court.

 **Rosaleen**

The night was winding down and my feet were hurting, but I danced my feet bare and my head resting on Tamlin's chest as we swayed. Most of the people of the other courts had left for home. Freye and Rhysand and the others remained. Freye rolled her eyes at her drunken mate who was having a heated debate with Cassian and Azirel. Elain was asleep on Lucien's lap her pale fingers tangled in his fire hair, and he held her a sleepy smile on his face. Tamlin's one arm was wrapped around my waist and his other reached up my back to let his hand rest on my head. The music was low and light mimicking how I felt. My glow had faded due to my tiredness, but a golden halo remained. As we danced Tamlin sang the songs to me, kissing my head here and there making my heart flutter every time. He left his mind open to me letting me feel every bit of joy he felt. He swirled me away slowly and brought me back into his embrace. Resting my chin on his chest, I looked at his emerald eyes, that seemed to whisper I love you.

"Tamlin," I mumbled.

"Yes Rosa?" he said picking the pins out of my hair and placing them in his pocket.

"Let's go to bed." I surveyed his eyes, they were surprised, but over joyed. The ache in my legs was getting the best of me, and he knew it. Tamlin swept me off the floor and I nuzzled my face into his neck. We mumbled quick goodnights to the other before making our way to his room. He placed me in the bed so I sat. I looked up at him drossy. I pointed to my dress, I needed help unzipping it. He chuckled at me and unzipped the top. I pointed again not caring, I wore what Elain called a slip underneath. He continued and I struggled out of the dress. I stood my legs wobbly, and fell into his chest. I laughed a little.

"Stay here tonight." I whispered a quiet command, knowing he wouldn't refuse me.

"As you wish," he smiled laying me gently on the bed. I curled up beneath the blankets, watching him as he moved. He removed the gold and emerald crown that he'd worn on his head all night and placed it onto my vanity. I watched a little to carefully as he removed his shirt to reveal his tan and sculpted back, a blush swarmed my cheeks. Quickly, I closed my eyes as he tugged at his pants. I didn't open them again until I felt the warmth of his chest against my back. Tamlin's body curled into mine as if it was made to be there. I sighed deeply grabbing his hand that was draped on my side and brought it to my lips kissing it softly.

As my eye lid grew heavy I heard Tamlin whisper, "I love you, my Rosa."

 **Tamlin**

As she laid beside me that night I pinched myself to make sure that this was real. I went the night over and over in my mind making sure I hadn't forced her into anything. She startled me form thoughts when she turned pushing her face into my chest and wrapping her arms around my chest, hugging me as if I was a teddy bear not a vicious monster. Her trust and faith in me was so strong I wondered how I deserved it. Everything I showed her and she still chose to love me. Rosa's curls were spread out everywhere making it difficult to not lay on them.

Her breathing was even tonight. Every night from the study I would listen to her breathing until I reached exhaustion. Often nights her breath would be uneven and some nights she would scream a blood curdling scream. One night I tried to wake her and she had no recollection of the nightmare. Then there was the night she stopped breathing. They stopped late in the night and I bolted into the room, begging her to breathe, I blew air into her mouth. I hadn't felt the bond snap that night, so knew she was still alive, but her mind was gone. After a few minutes then her breathing resumed. That night and for the rest of that week I snuck into her room after she fell asleep and sat at the window bench, pushing off sleep until the sun rose.

Rosa's hand grabbed at my hair playing with it in her sleep. She never seized to amaze me and I will never stop wondering if I am worthy of such a pure love, of such a kind person. I placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, curling myself around her. She hugged me tighter in response. I fell asleep replaying the night over and over.

In the morning, I woke to a gentle poking on my chest. I looked to see Rosa poking with both fingers just below my collar bone. Sleepily, I laughed. Her honey eyes shot up to my face, smile slowly spreading across hers. She looked well rested no sign of distress. For a long time, we lay like that her eyes staring at me studying me. It was hard for me to keep my shield up but I did. I didn't want her to see my constant self-doubt, my constant worry that I hadn't changed. A part of me still considered giving Lucien the court, it was this court, my family who made me who I had become partially. I had also let my emotions get in the way. As much as I loved Rosa I would do my best to remain rational, her golden swirls poked gently at my mind, a polite request for entry. I let her in willingly. Her eyes held mine as she looked, gathering my emotions and sorting them. Her lips turned into a thin line.

"I'm worried about their news as well. I hope it helpful," she responded to me twirling my hair in her small slender fingers. She placed a flutter of a kiss on my cheek before leaving me alone in my bed. Rosa sorted through the wardrobe selecting a simple black dress that was covered in lace, a gift from Feyre and Rhysand. Her thoughts told me she thought it was fitting since they were our guests to honor them in one of the few ways she could. She retreated to the bathing room and I pulled on a light purple shirt that Rosa told me time and time again she loved, and pair of black slacks waiting at the window seat.


End file.
